Hi everybody and welcome back to Strategy, Leadership and Impact. I’m your host Blake Repine. It has been a few weeks since I’ve done a podcast and so I’m actually kind of glad to be back recording another one and it has been quite busy. I was actually dealing with a number of pretty big projects and then took a week of leave, so which was very nice to have a short holiday, spend time with the family and just relax for a bit.
So just to let you know about a few changes. So my new website is up, BlakeRepine.com.au. So if you want to check that out, that’s a good platform. I will be hosting or actually using that platform to share the podcast from here on out. That website was actually done for me by a gentleman by the name of Henry Ramirez who lives in Venezuela and if you like the website and want to contact him, his website is www.RamHen.com.
Again, I’ve been very happy with it, very good. I have a lot of positive feedback around. He has also been doing a lot of my graphic design and development there too. So quite good. Very happy with the results.
Also with the podcast, plus we’re going to be moving into a new format. Not necessarily change the content but we will be incorporating interviews. So making a list of people now that I would like to have on the podcast to interview and if there’s anyone out there you would like for me to interview, please feel free to send me your suggestions and I will – if they’re suitable, I will contact them and see about doing an interview with them as well.
Also I’ve been taking the podcast and uploading it through Headliner and turning it into an audiogram and then posting those on YouTube. So moving more into video. So probably in the future, you will see my face more in videos, see the interviews as videos so that I can not only post them on the – or share them through the podcast platforms but also on YouTube as well and potentially other video platforms and of course those will all go to the website BlakeRepine.com.au. A few changes coming up. Just again, keep improving, keep making things better not only for the podcast but also the viewers and the listeners and everything as well.
I guess moving on to the topic that I would like to talk about this week. I really want to talk about relationships and the power of relationships and breaking this down into two areas really – your personal relationships and your professional relationships.
We will talk more about the personal relationships first and the power of those and how those can actually again be a multiplier for you and help you achieve things. A couple of key points there.
First off, not everyone that you’re necessarily friends with or your family or your acquaintances necessarily want to achieve or going to support you in your achievement. Be aware of that and know that not everybody out there is going to want you to achieve. But surround yourself with those that do want to see you achieve. Support those who want to support you.
There are some people that you could potentially be around that might be quite negative all the time. I’m not saying you always want to surround yourself with yes-men and things like that or people that always say yes to everything you want to do, but people that look at things objectively and actually support you and think about your own success, which is probably going to be an incredibly small number of people.
So in your personal life, you’re going to have to keep those – I guess the circle around you small. The smaller, probably the better actually. If you have a thousand friends, more than likely 990 of them aren’t going to support you in your success.
They might say, “Yeah. Great. Way to go,” whatever. But there will be some out there that have animosity and some of them, they probably don’t have your best interest at heart. So it’s probably going to be a very small number of people that do have your best interest at heart.
Same thing too even with your family. Our family actually feel obligated sometimes or they feel like they’re the best ones to give you advice around your life and career and where you think you’re headed. But they’re not always the best to do that either.
Take what they tell you with a grain of salt. You’re not living your life for them necessarily. You’re living your life for yourself. Look at the background of the people you keep around you in both your personal and professional networks. What have they achieved too?
Some people, they’re quick to offer advice around what you need to do to be successful, but haven’t actually accomplished anything themselves. So again surround yourself with people that have achieved, particularly in your professional life. Surround yourself with people that care about you.
So a couple of key things around relationships whether personal or professional, don’t keep score. It’s not a favor for a favor. It’s not, “I did this for you. Now you got to do this for me.” Don’t keep score. If someone needs help, just help them. If they don’t reciprocate, so what? What would be lost? So add value to the relationships that you’re in. Give and give thanks. Going back to the concept of selfless leadership. You know, that selflessness too in relationships as well. Be the giver. Give thanks. Let people know that they add value to you, add value to your life, add value to your career, whatever it is. But always give and don’t necessarily demand or expect they give something in return. Eventually there will come a day whenever they will have their chance to do something for you.
Now the caveat under that, don’t let people take advantage of you either. That thing, you know, don’t see my kindness as a sign of weakness. Some people will try to take advantage of that. Know that. But also cut that off immediately if you see that happening. Cut that relationship off or really set the ground rules and say, “Yeah, I may give. But don’t take advantage of that.” Definitely don’t let people take advantage of you in any way.
Some people will particularly if you’re a generous person and see that selflessness. So within your professional networks, it’s the same thing too. Don’t just call people up whenever you need something. Once, twice, it might not really be a good time. But it seems like every time they’re hearing from you is whenever you need something done or you need a favor. Eventually they might turn their back on you and say, “Sorry. I can’t help you this time.” Check in on people every now and again. See how they’re doing. Be genuinely interested in what they’re up to.
Don’t just make it seem like it’s not transparent or it’s just very superficial, that you’re just asking the questions to get to the point where you’re going to ask them to do something for you. So there has been certain times in my life where it’s highlighted, the professional relationships that I have and the personal relationships that I have, how they have actually helped me achieve.
You know, they say that you’re the sum of the five closest relationships that you have. Typically one of those might be your partner, a parent, a sibling, something like that, some family-related thing. If those relationships are toxic and you’re always arguing or fighting or you don’t get along and it’s just not good, you need to break those relationships. You need to be in relationships that are positive and supportive and kind of have their shared goals or that shared understanding and there’s not always the conflict there. You’re not always degrading each other. You’re supporting each other and building you up and the same thing too in your professional relationship.
What do these people in your professional networks do? What have they achieved? How ambitious are they? Do their goals, do their ambitions, do their values align with yours? If they do, those are probably the ones you want to keep around.
If they don’t, then if there’s someone who’s very much the, “I will step in the office at nine o’clock and I will leave at five o’clock and I won’t do anything extra,” if that’s the kind of career you want, then those are probably the people you want to keep in your network. However if that’s not the kind of career you want, that clock-punching, not really looking at being very ambitious, not really looking at achieving greater success and expanding yourself and developing yourself, then don’t keep those people in your professional networks. They’re not that good for you. They are toxic for you. They will hold you back and hold you down.
Surround yourself with those people that are ambitious. Surround yourself with those people that really develop themselves, that put back into themselves, that reinvest within themselves through education, experience and things like that and learn how they’re doing it and make yourself better because those people like that will push you to be a better person in a positive manner, not in a negative way that’s toxic because again, through relationships, you can achieve.
No one can actually achieve on their own. You need support. You need help. You need guidance. You need direction. So look for those that have done it in your personal life. Don’t keep the people that are toxic around you, that hold you down, that tell you you can’t achieve or tell you it’s not worth it, tell you not to take the chance, don’t take the risk. Be around those that will support you but also give you that objective perspective and say, “Look, these are some considerations you might want to think about. But I know you can do it. I know you can get out there and put yourself out there to achieve. It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be hard, but you can do it.”
I will guarantee once you start looking at your relationships in that manner and say, “Well, are they really looking after my best interest? Are they really supporting me to achieve what it is I want to achieve? Is this a relationship that builds me up and doesn’t tear me down or bring me back or try to hold me back?” And if they aren’t and I really hope that they’re not, what do you need to do to change those relationships? What do you need to do to find those positive relationships?
Again I think I mentioned in an earlier podcast. If there’s someone who has achieved something that you want to achieve or works in a way that you feel like would be beneficial to you, seek those people out. Find them. Introduce yourself. That’s the easiest way to start a relationship with someone. Introduce yourself. Let them know who you are. Learn from them. Seek these people out.
The power of relationships, they’re incredibly important. They can really help you achieve success or they can hold you back. So think about your relationships and what you’re doing there and if you are surrounded by those that are toxic or those that are mediocre and don’t support you and don’t help you achieve and rethink those relationships.
Well, I hope you have a great week and hope to be more consistent coming back over the next few weeks for the podcast and talk to you again in a week. Thank you very much.